Summertime Sadness (A MakoHaruRin Oneshot)
by XxElsiechanxX
Summary: Name: Megan Swiger Age: 17 Category: R-18 Any warnings?: Yaoi, very heavy hints of depression Haruka and Makoto are a new couple and are happy with where they are...that is until Rin comes along and takes Haruka from Makoto. The three try to sort out the trouble in their own ways, but ultimately learn to live with each other. (Summaries are hard...) Word Count: 9,607


On a quiet summer day, Haruka and Makoto went to a small family restaurant. It had been a while since they actually ate together, and what with them being a new couple, eating was the best way to break the ice. Of course, they had been best friends before, but even since Makoto had confessed to Haruka that he wanted to forever swim with him and Haruka supporting the notion, the two could not stand to be separate from each other for very long.

Haruka was very protective of Makoto, always trying to do his best to make him happy. He always thought that a smile looked better on his lips than a quivering frown. He knew that he was afraid of the ocean, and even though they took frequent trips to the beach to swim a few laps, they never traveled beyond two kilometers. He had noticed that whenever they came close to approximately three kilometers, the green-eyed backstroke swimmer would freeze up. Tears would stream down his face as he remembered the death of his friend five years ago. Perhaps one of those trips was the first time Haruka felt something for him…

They ordered a small parfait that they would split between them. Makoto held a spoonful of the dessert to Haruka; it seemed one of his greatest joys was to feed him. "Haru, we've only got a few days left of summer before we have to go back to being like best friends. We won't be able to do this very often, especially with Nagisa and Rei around," Makoto sighed.

"You don't have to worry about them. It seems that Nagisa might be getting ready to make his move, so I doubt that they will be around us for very long," Haruka smiled—it was rare that he did smile, and when he did, the gentleness of it warmed Makoto's heart.

"But…Gou and the others at school…they might…"

"I'll protect you, so don't worry." Haruka cupped his face in his hand.

Just as they were going to close in for a small kiss, a familiar face appeared in front of them. It was Rin Matsuoka of Samezuka Academy. He flashed a shark-toothy grin at his old friends. "Fancy seeing you two here!" he said, unusually cheerful to see them. "It's been a few months since the whole training trip, hasn't it? Have you guys done anything fun for the summer?" He took a seat next to Haruka, much to their embarrassment.

"We haven't really done much. Just swimming, you know? We've still got a long way to go for the competition…speaking of which, why are you here anyway? Aren't you supposed to be training?" Makoto asked.

"Yeah, but the captain's a bit pissed that I've been working so hard for long periods of time. He's afraid I'm going to burn myself out, so he said to take the day off, and I can't really disobey my captain." Rin leaned back. "Um…you guys looked pretty busy just a couple of minutes ago. Are you sure swimming's the only thing you've been doing? Eh? Nudge-nudge, wink-wink?"

"N-No! We've only been swimming!"

"I'm just messing with you guys!"

A few minutes passed, and soon Makoto had the urge to go to the bathroom. He excused himself, leaving Rin and Haru alone. The atmosphere between them got rather awkward because Rin hadn't taken his eyes off of Haruka since he sat down. "Rin, is something wrong?" Haru finally asked.

"Nothing. So…are you single still?"

Haruka averted his gaze. He wanted to his relationship with Makoto hidden, but it proved to be difficult. Rin suddenly grabbed his wrist and pulled him outside, leaving the money for the parfait on the table. He led him into an alleyway, where he pinned him to the wall.

"R-Rin, what are you—"

Rin took up his lips, shoving his tongue into his mouth. "I've been waiting a really long time to finally get the courage to do this," he said in a low voice. He kissed him on his neck and grabbed his crotch despite his initial protesting which surprisingly turned into acceptance. Makoto hadn't done anything like this to him, and the fact that Rin was being so forceful made him excited. "Haru, do you know how much I want you? How long I've waited to make my move?"

"Rin…are you saying that…you like me…?" Haruka asked between kisses and titillated gasps for air. He had forgotten that Makoto was only a few feet from them.

"I more than just like you, Haru. I want you to be mine." He roughly squeezed Haruka's crotch; a small yelp escaped his throat. He maneuvered his hand down in his pants to get a better grip on him. "Take off your shirt."

"I-I don't want to. What if other people see us?"

"Then unbutton your shirt halfway. I want to see you." Haruka did as he was told, exposing his collar bone to Rin's lips. "Don't make a sound; just enjoy this." He licked his collar bone, biting him every so often, and stopped. "Haruka…you should come to my house so we can do this properly."

"R-Rin…I…!" Haruka breathed. He was already getting hard. "I…!"

"Haru?!" Makoto called out at the end of the alleyway. He looked horrified—tears welling in his wide, shocked eyes and his hands over his mouth. Haruka had betrayed him! After all the years they had been best friends, and the mere weeks that they were something more! "Haru…h-how could you?!" He staggered backwards away from them.

Haruka's eyes were just as wide as his. He wanted so much to tell him that he was mistaken, but he knew at that moment it would be useless. His heart was racing not from Rin touching him but because Makoto would never forget this. "M-Makoto, it's not what you think!"

"N-Not what I think?! It's exactly what it looks like to me, Haruka!" Makoto yelled back at him.

Now Rin was irritated with Makoto. What business did he have in flustering Haruka? Sure, he still considered him a friend, but there was a time and place for everything, and Makoto being where he was at that moment was not one of those times. He opened his mouth to spit some sort of venomous insult at him about peeking on people's business, but the hurt man finally turned away. Was it his face that scared him off? Either way, Haruka was in his grasp now.

That is, if Haruka didn't escape. The black-haired man tried to go after Makoto, though he was held back by Rin. "Rin, let go! I-I have to talk with Makoto!"

Meanwhile, Makoto walked like a drunkard to his house. He went right past his siblings and parents to his room to wallow in his sorrow, to try and mend his broken heart by pushing Haruka out of his mind. Why would Haruka do that to him? Why would he turn around in front of him and go for Rin? Was he just not good enough for him? Well, it was true that they never ventured out of little kisses and pecks. Did Haruka leave him because he wanted more? Was he…unsatisfied with him? The thought pierced his heart. He curled up on his bed in sadness. Unable to just fall sleep and forget everything, he searched his desk for a pair of scissors. When he finally found them, he snuck to the bathroom. With the blades open, he pressed one of the blades to his wrist. Cut by cut, the blood dripped from his hands and into the sink. The pain helped a little bit.

"Haru…" he sobbed. "Why…why would you do this to me…? I thought we were best friends…I thought we were together…"

That same night, Haruka and Rin returned to the former's home despite him wanting to go talk to Makoto. "It was all a misunderstanding! I have to apologize to him!" Haruka fought.

"I've never seen you this adamant about something. Forget about him! You're single, anyway, so why bother with him? Besides, best friends are best _friends_ for a reason. They're just friends; I'm more than a friend—I'm your _rival_. I'm more entitled to your love and body than your best friend," Rin replied.

"Makoto and I are a couple! And I'm not going to leave him! I have to fix this!"

Rin grabbed his shirt in his fist. "What makes you think he's going to take you back, then? He saw what we were doing, and Makoto's not going to forget it. He won't forgive you!"

Haruka continued to deny that proposition. "M-Makoto will…he will…"

"Haru, look at what you're doing. You're working yourself up into a fit for nothing. Come here, forget about him. I'll take care of you; I'll give you more than what he could ever give."

Even though Haruka wanted to repel him, feeling his arms around him reminded him of Makoto. But the way he kissed him—it wasn't out of love like Makoto did. He was rough and more aggressive; Makoto would always ask if he was comfortable before going at him stronger and harder. He couldn't help but get sucked in though. He let Rin do what he wanted with him. He kissed and licked his neck, occasionally biting him to remind him that he was in Rin's presence. While he played with him, he pushed him to his bedroom, cunningly peeling off his clothes at the same time.

"R-Rin…t-that's enough…I can't do this…" Haruka slurred. He wanted it, and he couldn't hide it even with all his might.

"Yes, you can. You were getting hard in the alleyway, so you definitely want it. Especially since you'll be on your own bed." He pushed him onto the bed. Haruka's shirt was opened fully, his chest heaving from anticipation and lust. "Makoto never did this to you, did he? I can see why. He's too innocent to do this kind of stuff."

"Y-You're wrong…we loved each other. We weren't so much into the sensuality of it all."

"So you're a hopeless romantic?"

"N-No…"

Rin smirked as he kissed him down his abdomen to his belt buckle. He quickly did away with the obstacle and began unbuttoning his pants. "You know, this is making me wonder—if you love Makoto so much, why are you letting me do this?"

"I…I don't know…what you're talking about…"

Rin pulled off his pants then grasped his swimsuit; his hot fingers made Haruka blush uncontrollably. "Then again…I guess it's only natural for me to fulfill those desires." He slowly pulled off the bottoms, never once looking away from his flustered face. "Makoto would never do this to you, and the only reason I can think of as to why you're letting _me_ do it is because you want it, and you want it rough."

There was no denying it—not that he did or could have. Rin wrapped his fingers around Haruka, slowly stroking him before taking him into his mouth for just a couple of minutes. His prey struggled at first out of being uncomfortable. Then he gradually succumbed to the pleasure. Indulging in the ecstasy, he became a rag doll; Rin had total control over him. He turned him onto his side to get a better way, and in seconds, he slid into him.

"A-Ah…!" Haruka gasped.

Rin bent over him so that his lips were right next to his ear. "It feels good, doesn't it? Dump Makoto and you can feel like this anytime you want."

Haruka panted and moaned as his once rival pushed farther into him. He tried to devour him until a thought came into his mind. Now he really was cheating on Makoto! But…was it really cheating? Couldn't it just be one of those "friends with benefits" things?

"I…I don't want…this…I just want…" Haruka said with great difficulty.

"Stop lying to yourself, Haru! Just take this time to enjoy what's going on, and weigh your decision on that!"

Rin plowed into him harder and faster; he had long stopped kissing him. He was just in it for the sex…or was he? Maybe he did love Haruka, and he just had a different way of showing it than Makoto. He began grunting. "I'm going to…!"

"R-Rin…! Ah…! Ah-ah-ah! R-Ri—ah!"

The primal sounds that erupted from their throats rang out together as they both came. After the climax, they wound down—Rin pulled out of him and flopped onto the bed. He pulled him into his arms. The smell of Haru's sweat almost seemed to revitalize him…almost. They lay together. Haruka thought about what he had done. Makoto wouldn't be happy about it—he could just see his face as he closed his eyes.

What if he tried to seduce him? What if he tried to make him feel good and get him to step out of his comfort zone of just kissing? Would he get mad? Would he push him away? He was getting sleepy. All that energy spent on something so degrading but gratifying.

Makoto had gotten away from his family with enough money to buy a bottle of alcohol. Alcohol was said to make worries disappear, right? Would it help him forget about Haruka? Granted he always got a queasy stomach at the thought of ingesting spirits, he wasn't sure. "No, I-I don't want to remember him! He broke my heart…and the best way to mend it would be to drink it away," he said through the lump in his throat. His mind tormented him, though. All sorts of questions entered his head: What's Haru doing right now? Is he sad? Should I go see him? What if Rin is with him? Does he really love Rin? Will I be okay like this? I can't go on without him, can I? "I don't want to think about him!" Yelling at himself didn't help the situation. He ran to the nearest convenience store. Regardless of his age, he bought a case of beer.

Naturally, he couldn't go back home with the case lest his family get worried. He went to the canal that was only a few meters from Iwatobi High School. Thankfully the canal had a floodplain that he could sit on and indulge in the alcohol. He knew the beer wasn't going to be enough, however, and contemplated looking towards some other means of making himself feel not depressed. He blew quite a bit on the case already, so he would have to wait, but the next thing that entered his mind was the thought of smoking a cigarette. They were relatively cheap, and it would give him instant gratification. He drank the cans one by one. The world spun around him. The only thing he could focus on were the scars on his wrists. Cutting himself helped him a little bit. Maybe that was what he had to do?

When Makoto picked himself up to go back home, he didn't realize just how drunk he was. Thankfully, his family was asleep, so they couldn't ask him why he was gone for so long or why he had alcohol on his breath. Being in such a state was his escape from the pain, and he was okay with that. He didn't care what his parents said. He wanted to get rid of his summertime sadness.

In the morning, he had a horrid headache, and the ringing doorbell only made it worse. "Who could be at my door so early?" he grumbled. It was actually one o'clock in the afternoon. He opened the door to find Haruka looking at him with a sheepish smile. "What are you doing here?"

"I can't visit my boyfriend?" he jokingly asked, but the other man wasn't laughing. He held a stern expression. "Makoto, can I come inside for a while? Oh, you don't look well. Let me come in and fix something for you—I can make you some mackerel and—"

"I don't want your mackerel. I don't want you near my house. And most importantly, I don't want you around me."

The words stung his heart. He clenched his fist. "M-Makoto, please let me talk. I just want to make you see that this was all a misunderstanding." He placed a shaking hand on his arm. "P-Please…"

The green-eyed student ripped his arm from him. "A misunderstanding? How could I misunderstand what was going on in the alley? I saw exactly what was going on, Haruka, and I understood damn well what you were doing with Rin! So don't say it was a misunderstanding!"

Haruka forced himself to stay strong, but his voice was starting to give way. "What do I have to do to make you listen to me? What do I have to say?" He held back the tears.

"You don't have to say anything! It's over, isn't it? Our relationship? I mean, what does Rin have that I don't?"

"It's not like that!" He took a deep breath to calm himself down before continuing. "Tomorrow…can we go to the park together? I'll tell you what happened. And you're going to listen. I'll tell you what happened and why it's a misunderstanding. Just please give me a chance to explain everything…!"

Makoto looked at him dubiously. He wondered about it. "This is your final chance. You better make it convincing. Because if you don't, I…I don't what I'm going to do yet, but when I figure it out, you're going wish you were never born."

The door slammed shut in front of Haruka, and Makoto slid down the door to his knees. Why did he have to say it like that to him? He was a delicate soul, and he just threatened his best friend. He knew that Haruka was still going to set up the date whether he was yelled at or not, and he felt somewhat better knowing that. But if he couldn't prove that it was just a misunderstanding and that Rin was the one that was forcing him, what would happen to them?

Haruka stood over his little gas stove frying four pieces of mackerel with a tiny smile on his face. While the fish cooked, he decorated two bento lunches as delicately as if they were pieces of art worth millions of yen. Then he laid the mackerel on the rice and closed them. He hoped that the lunches would make Makoto happier and more prepared to listen to him. The things that Makoto had said to him still buzzed in his brain. As a result, every once in a while the smile would be twisted into a pained frown while he tried to hold back the tears from getting into his ingredients. Hearing those awful things was the equivalent of being stabbed repeatedly in the back and chest. It made him want to vomit.

"It's okay," he told himself. "H-He'll understand."

At that moment, his cell phone rang—Rin was calling.

"Rin…?" He answered the phone hesitantly. What could he want? "H-Hello, Haruka speaking…."

"Haru! Can I come over? I'm feeling lonely," Rin said.

"Um, today's really not a good day."

"Huh? Why not?"

"I…I have to run a few errands. Maybe some other time…"

Rin paused. He knew what this was about. "You're _still_ seeing Makoto? Aren't you two over? I mean, he saw us together!"

"Stop. I'm hanging up now." Haruka felt a void in his stomach as he ended the call. He packed up the bento lunches and headed for the park. He walked briskly. What if Makoto didn't come? He did say the relationship was over, but he couldn't have meant it without listening to him! "Makoto. Makoto. Makoto!" he repeatedly mumbled almost obsessively.

Thankfully, Makoto was waiting for him on a bench, to which he let out a sigh of relief. He ran up to him. "Are we going to sit here?" he asked with his small smile.

"Sure," Makoto replied curtly.

Haruka could tell he was annoyed with his presence, but he had to persevere. Taking a seat next to him, he handed him a bento lunch. "Please, e-enjoy." It felt strange to talk to him. He was a stranger to him for some reason. Maybe it was the animosity he had against him?

Makoto nibbled at the lunch not out of discontent of being in such a situation but because he had just eaten. Haruka looked at him, his patience already diminishing.

"I'm waiting for your explanation. Why did you cheat on me?"

Immediately Haruka wanted to spit out his food. Did kissing count as cheating? He knew the mere act of receiving Rin was, but what about kissing? Of course, it would, he decided.

"I wouldn't say I cheated…Rin came onto me after you went to the bathroom. He took me to the alleyway, and he touched me and kissed me. I-I didn't want any part of it."

"You had a whole day—twenty-four hours—to come up with something, and _this_ is the best you can do? Just blame Rin for your inability to control yourself? I'm not a fool, Haruka; I wasn't born five minutes ago. You're unsatisfied with me—I only kiss you but won't have sex with you…Is that what it is? You're in this just for the sex? That has to be it! Rin will give it to you, and you figured that if he randomly showed up at the 'perfect' time, you would be able to get some out of him. I can't believe you of all people would be so…so whorish! But don't people get tired of it? So what's going to happen when you get tired of Rin? Are—Are you just going to call me up and ask for another chance? Try to seduce me and make me a second choice? How good is Rin? Is he rough? I bet he is, which is why you went with him!"

"M-Mako…s-stop…"

"Stop?" Makoto stood up, throwing the bento lunch onto the ground and spilling all of its contents. "Why do you want me to stop? Because it's true? I thought you were a better person than this!"

"It's not—"

"Then open your mouth and _tell_ me the _truth_!"

"Makoto, I swear…it was Rin coming onto me! I love you and only you! I always have and always will!"

"Then why were you kissing him back?! Why…why, why, why?! You looked to be enjoying it, Haruka! How can you say that when I saw with my own eyes how you reacted to Rin?! _Tell me!_"

The other park visitors looked over at them, furrowing their brows in curiosity and disgust. Makoto saw their piercing gaze. He suddenly cried, and Haruka looked completely stunned and ashamed at what he was doing to his best friend. When he tried to embrace the weeping student, Makoto drew away from him and took a deep breath.

"Maybe this wasn't the best place to talk about this."

Haruka took a step to him but only got the same response—Makoto running away from him. "M-Mako…p-please just listen to me…" he choked. He took another step to him. This time he was met with Makoto's strong hand. He was slapped across the face before Makoto ran away from him, leaving him alone and heartbroken. Haruka fell to his knees unsure of what to do with himself. While he cleaned up the spilled lunch, his hands trembled. A few sobs sounded. After the ground was cleaned, he called Rin as he walked like a zombie back home. "Rin…please pick up…"

"Rin speaking."

"R-Rin…please come over…I'm in pain…"

"Haru? Hey, what happened? Uh, I'll be over in a couple minutes!"

Haruka walked inside his house. The door was left unlocked for Rin since he would be too depressed to get up and open it for him. "Makoto…why…?" he whispered before crying in his palms. He continued even when Rin arrived.

"Haru! Don't cry!"

"Mako…Makoto just sat there…and said even worse things to me than before…! I don't know what to do…!"

Rin took him into his arms, hugging him tightly. "What do you want to do…?"

"I want to forget about what he said to me…I don't want to hear his voice say those things in my head…!"

The Samezuka student shushed him as he unbuttoned his shirt and kissed his neck in hopes that his advances would replace the aching in his heart with joy; Haruka didn't try to stop him, in fact, he helped him. As self-destructive as it was, he wanted Rin to make him forget. He didn't wait for him to move down lustfully to his pants. Haruka tore them off, hastily removed his shirt, and kept kissing him. Dull the pain—that was his objective. He pulled Rin to the couch and, as his friend prepared him, he sorrowfully looked to the side. "Haru, this really isn't good for your health. You need to just forget about him; if you don't, you're just asking him to hurt you," Rin worriedly said.

"I can't forget him…"

Rin knew that he wouldn't get through to him, at least not in the state he was. He pushed himself between his legs until his warmth melted away his sadness.

"M…Mako…!" Haruka called out in the middle of it all. He had forgotten that he was with Rin, and he instantly covered his mouth, but Rin was already flustered by the insult. He bit his neck hard, his sharp shark-like teeth breaking his skin and drawing blood. "I-I'm sorry…!"

Rin grabbed his jaw. "I was willing to forgive you for not forgetting Makoto, but…calling his name while we're doing it? Haru, you're _mine_ now, so don't say his name!"

It was a mistake to call on Rin in this time of need. Now he'd lost Makoto and trapped himself. Rin roughly continued on him despite him squirming underneath him; however, he knew what he was doing wouldn't make Haruka love him—forcing himself on him out of anger would push him farther away. He eased up on him and wrapped his arms around his shivering body with his whimpering voice echoing in his ear.

"I'm sorry…" he whispered to him.

There was a knock at the door.

"Who could be here this late…?" Haruka asked through his whines. The two of them couldn't exactly get up—they were in the middle of it all, and afterwards they would be too tired to walk. The doorknob rattled before the door squeaked open.

Footsteps could be heard at the threshold. "H-Haru…are you home…?" an unstable voice asked. It was Makoto, but he didn't sound like himself. Blood was dripping from his hand, and he looked miserable. "Haru…I wanted to say I'm sorry…where are you…?" He shuffled along the floor, shivering from what seemed to be the beginnings of anemia. "Haru…please come out…I-I'm not feeling too well…"

He went to Haruka's bedroom door, which was slightly ajar. His sight was blurred but would focus every few seconds. Maybe it shouldn't have. Maybe…he should've blinded himself.

Haruka's horrified eyes met Makoto's, and all at once, the world fell away from under the latter. Rin could only glare at Makoto—why did he have to come in at the wrong time? It didn't matter, though. The disillusioned student staggered from the door without uttering a sound. In fact, the paleness of his face—caused either by nausea or anemia—glowed in the darkness of the house that night.

Haruka pushed Rin off of him to catch him. He threw on the closest and easiest thing to put on: a large hoodie that Makoto had bought for him one day to keep him warm when he had had a cold for a few weeks.

"Makoto! Makoto, wait!" he called to him as he walked down the street listlessly. Haruka was able to grab his wrist, stopping him, and hugged him tightly. "I…I'm telling the truth, so listen to me. I was hurt by what you said, so I called Rin…and…and he—we didn't know what we were doing. I was just so sad, and he was trying to make me feel better. Makoto, please—"

"Let go. Just let go of me."

"Makoto, I—"

He slapped his face. Haruka's heart stopped in his chest. Makoto would never—he would never lay a violent hand on him!

"Haruka…I have limits. You're just going to keep _lying_ to me—your best friend. I don't even know why I came here to apologize to you. Why am I apologizing?"

Haruka opened his mouth to refute him, but he choked again. In a blind rage, Makoto took the hoodie into his fists and shoved him against one of the walls along the sidewalk. "You just want sex." He pushed himself onto him, squeezing his arms with all his strength. "So I'll give it to you, Haru…" He didn't sound as angry as he did sinister.

"M-Mako…s-stop! I…I don't want this! Stop!" the black-haired student sobbed before his lover-turned-attacker could really do anything to him. Makoto let go of him and allowed him to fall to his knees. "I don't like you like this…I don't like you angry…"

"You don't like me when I'm angry? Think about that for a second, Haruka! You know that I rarely get angry, so can you tell me why I'm so upset now?! Can you?! No, you can't! Because you…you don't want to admit…that this is all your fault!" Makoto took a ragged breath then ran from the petrified Haruka. Even though he was so angry—and had every right to be—he knew he had really crossed the line. He wouldn't blame Haruka if he never wanted to see him again, nor did he care. His conflict emotions brewed a storm in his head that swirled uncontrollably until he couldn't see clearly or think clearly any more. He wanted Haruka more than ever now out of the guilt of hurting him, but he also loathed him for two-timing him.

Rin had always been his rival when it came to being by Haruka's side. When they were kids, they both saved him, and even though Makoto risked his life for him, Haruka only looked at Rin. When Makoto received the news that his friend had died at sea, he sought comfort in Haruka, but Haruka had to have been more preoccupied with Rin. Even the day that he thought he had the courage to tell Haruka that he only wanted him despite them being so young and inexperienced, he remembered, or rather _seemed_ to remember that Haruka only brush it off as some stupid game. It was always Rin, Rin, Rin! Why couldn't Haruka see Makoto for a change? The time that summer they had been together was nothing but a farce to draw Rin out of hiding. He was just the bait…

When Makoto got home, he sped right past his family to his room. There he bawled into his pillow. Even if Haruka was at fault, he didn't want to blame him. He just wanted him to only look at him. He wanted to be the one that Haruka would forever swim beside.

"Why…why is this happening to me…? After so many years…of just staying by his side even when Rin left him for Australia…why is he still so fixated on him?" He tightly curled up on his bed while pressing his pillow to his soaked face. "It's not fair! It's just not fair!" His chest heaved with depression. He had to touch the bottles again if he wanted to feel better even for just a few minutes.

After Rin found Haruka cowering on the ground in the light drizzle that had started, he brought him back inside. Of course, he was dressed, but he also felt guilty for had just happened to his rival-slash-lover. He had imagined that the situation between them was rough, yet the magnitude of it had now hit him dead on. He couldn't shake the feeling that things weren't going to be patched up. He served him some tea to calm his nerves. "Haru…I…I'm sorry that this is happening…It's my fault, right?" he said.

"I don't know anymore…I don't know if this is your fault or my fault or Makoto's fault. I—I just don't want him hating me like he is now…" Those little pools of blue in Haruka's head were dull. His body was completely drained of energy.

"Haru, you need to forget about him. Dwelling on him will _not_ make you feel better."

"Rin…I love him."

"No, you don't. How can you love him when he just tried to hurt you?"

"He's just upset! He wouldn't do this otherwise. I have to apologize to him. I absolutely have to!"

There was nothing else to say. Rin knew he wasn't going to change his friend's mind, not even with mackerel. Letting out a sigh, he said good night to him. Now Haruka was alone in his little house. He could only sit on the couch and stare at the cup of tea. The only thing buzzing in his mind was the question of how he was going to mend his relationship with Makoto. He wouldn't listen to a thing he said, and trying to force him to listen would only make him angrier. He had already tried to hurt him save for the hard slap to his face…but what if he was willing? Yes, what if he showed Makoto that his body was ready for him? He was just jealous, wasn't he? Well, maybe jealous wasn't the right word. Haruka knew that he had been wrong from the start.

He grabbed his phone then hesitated. Would Makoto pick up the phone? He swallowed his fear and rang him. He waited as the ring tone punctuated the line. With each droning of the tone, his heart beat. Finally, there was an answer.

"Makoto speaking," the subdued voice came.

"Makoto…? Do you have a minute?"

"Haru…please stop. If it's about what I did before, I'm sorry. I…I just wanted to scare you…"

"It's not about that. I…Can I come over and talk to you? Are your parents home?"

"They just went out…why do you—"

"I…I want you to listen to me. You haven't been listening to me at all, and I want a chance to explain everything."

There was a pause between the lines, which germinated fear in Haruka's heart. "You'll have three minutes to explain."

Haruka hung up the phone, put on a clean shirt and pants, and ran out the door and down the stairs just by his house to meet his friend. He frantically knocked on the door, and upon seeing him, he hugged him. In the midst of it, he asked that Makoto just stand still and let him enjoy the moment before he was pushed away again. The two went to the latter's room to speak in private in case the rest of the family were to come home with Haruka sitting rigid in his chair and Makoto sitting on his bed. The interrogation began.

"Makoto…I just want to know—how much do you hate me?" Haruka timidly asked.

"A lot, and depending on your explanation, I might hate you more."

His heart was pounding. He could _not_ afford to mess up! "Okay. Promise me that you will listen this time." He received a skeptical nod. "When you went to the bathroom, Rin took me to the alleyway and started kissing me. You asked earlier at the park why I was kissing back. I…I won't try and blame anyone. Makoto, I _did_ enjoy it, but not because it was Rin. I thought that if what he was doing—the act of it all," he stammered nervously, "If that made me feel good, I wondered, would it make _you_ feel good? We've never done anything like _that_. Of course, Rin seemed to have taken it the wrong way, and after you yelled at me, I was so upset by what you said…I figured that feeling would make everything better."

Makoto, unmoving, stared at the ground with his arms crossed. "So what about you and Rin?"

"What do you mean…?"

"You've had sex with him; you're not clean anymore. You've been tainted by that dirty rotten bastard. Our relationship's come to an end, so there's no doubt that you two are dating now."

"You're wrong!" Haruka denied. He took Makoto's hands in his. "You're wrong about all that. Our relationship isn't over. I won't allow it to end…and Rin and I are not dating. Makoto…" He kissed his fingers and touched them to his cheek. "I love _you_. I live only for _you_. Please…allow me to prove it to you…"

He walked to the bed, and when he sat next to the dubious Makoto, he gently kissed him, or rather, he fearfully kissed him. What would he do? Push him away again and slap him? Haruka would welcome it, though. He pressed Makoto's lips against his, begging him to kiss him harder back until he finally gave in. Makoto pushed him down slowly. What was he supposed to do now? He unbuttoned Makoto's shirt, and vice versa. Makoto could only run his hand on Haruka's chest, making both of them blush and breathe heavily.

"Haru…what do I do…? I've…I've never done this…" Makoto panted.

Haruka absorbed all of the goodness of Makoto finally touching him again not in anger but in some form of love. "P-Pants…" He lackadaisically unbuckled his belt under his weight. "You're hard, too…"

Makoto got through Haruka's pants to his underwear—well, his swimsuit—before letting Haruka undo his pants and tossed them listlessly aside. Their hearts were fluttering, their blood boiling inside them. As Haruka instructed Makoto how to enter him, they embraced each other. He had waited so long for it that tears almost streamed down his face. Haruka tried to stifle his moans while his lover pushed into him, but the happiness that he felt that they were going to make up could not be contained. He let out a forcibly subdued moan into Makoto's ear.

"H-Haru…why didn't we do this before…?"

Haruka reflected on his friend's nature. Makoto was a gentle soul that was too innocent for such lewd business. Their relationship was to be purely sentimental, but now that they were attached to each other to fulfill those bottled up carnal desires, could they really continue as they had?

"We…we wanted a relationship of love…and I've ruined it! Makoto, I'm so sorry! I'm corrupting you!" Haruka cried.

"No, you're not. I like this." Then a shock charged through Makoto. He listened to Haruka's voice getting higher as he got faster until everything seemed to melt away in a burst of odd blissfulness. Then exhaustion set in, and Makoto removed himself from Haruka. The two lay next to each other, and even though Haruka was anticipating his characteristic warm smile, he could sense something was wrong.

The olive-haired student sighed as if he had just gotten terrible news about his grades—well, this situation was close to something like that, right? "Haruka…we won't do this again. Just because we did this doesn't mean I'm forgiving you. Actually, I feel horrible for it, but something else is bothering me."

"I was too…too willing maybe?" Haruka asked, making all attempts to sound like everything could be blamed on him for the sake of making Makoto feel better.

An irritated pair of eyes glared back at him for a moment before his friend spoke in a low and incriminating voice. "I don't want to be with you anymore. Please stop trying to make me stay."

"But I…"

"I already know what's going on between you and Rin. You said you two weren't dating, yet your moans told a different story."

"What are you talking about?"

"How many times have you two done it?"

"Makoto, I don't understand."

"Just answer me."

Haruka froze. If he found out that they had not slept together once but _twice_, everything would be over, and all his explanations—no matter how true they were—would all be for naught. He placed a trembling hand on chest, feeling his heart pick up again. The desire to just cry was growing as he realized what Makoto could do to him in the lonely house. He had already slapped him once and acted as if to rape him, so what if he actually took it farther? Anger makes people do awful things. Makoto's gentle spirit wouldn't be able to fight off the desire to murder him, or so he thought.

While Makoto didn't know of Haruka's repeated cheating, Haruka didn't know of Makoto repeated indulgence in self-destructive activities. No one did for that matter. The bloodied blades and rags and empty bottles were taken care of in the dead of night so that no one would interfere.

"We've slept together twice," Haruka almost whispered.

Makoto let out something like a grunt of pain and a sarcastic laugh mixed together. He covered his eyes. An incredulous smile stretched on his lips. "I figured as much; I just didn't want to believe it. I had a feeling you had done it more than once, and your moaning only proved it. Whatever Rin's done to you, it's influenced your voice. You let yourself get caught up in it, and then you don't even sound like _my _Haruka anymore."

"That's ridiculous! How can the way someone moans be influenced by another person? This is the first time we've even done it! You wouldn't know how I moan!"

Makoto lunged at Haruka's still covered body and grabbed his throat. His body sat on top of his in order to prevent his escape, and what with Haruka still tired from those few minutes, he could have easily killed him. He peered into his eyes emotionlessly; what had happened to Makoto?

"M-Ma…let go…!" Haruka struggled to say. He was released. "Why…why did you…?"

"How could you just say something like that?"

"Well, why are you getting so upset about how I sound during sex? Why are you so repulsed?"

"Because you're not my Haru anymore!" Makoto weakly slapped his face. He got off of him, gave him his clothes, and showed him to the door. Opening the door, he pushed him out. "Don't come back. Don't talk to me when school starts—even if we're on the team together. I want nothing more to do with you. It's over, and I'll keep saying it for as long as I have to in order to make you understand it." And he shut the door.

Perhaps this was the final straw. Haruka gripped his chest. The realization of their love ending hurt him. He looked up at Makoto's window. The clouds in the night sky were rolling in over the little town, and the first few raindrops fell on Haruka's cheek, giving the impression of him crying. Or maybe he really was crying. He turned around. _It's over._ He held his head as he walked out of the tiny yard past the small grave that held the bones of two goldfish.

Makoto, on the other hand, was taking it just as hard. Again! He had said such horrible things again! Why did he have to be so cruel? _Why did he have to grab his neck like that?_ "Am…Am I so angry that I want to erase him? No, I can't go on like this. Not anymore…" Makoto pulled a bottle from under his bed and popped the cap off. He drank the beer all in a single gulp. It wasn't enough, and after drinking the third or fourth bottle, he determined that drinking himself out of sorrow wouldn't work. He stumbled to his bathroom, where he had hidden his blades. As he slashed his wrists, he reflected on his moment with Haruka. Why did he say that—why did he say that his moans of pleasure were because of Rin? Haruka had a point: they had never had sex before, and Makoto never heard him while he was with Rin. "I'm losing it! Haru…I'm so sorry…"

While he sliced away at himself, his cellphone buzzed and vibrated nonstop with text messages. Even though Haruka—now at home—had been told to never speak to him again, he felt compelled to try and reach out again. "I'm sorry." "Please talk to me." "I can't live without you." "I was wrong." "Please let me come back." "I love you—always and forever."

He hadn't received an answer after thirty minutes of waiting. "It can't be over…I want to swim with him. I want to love him." He suddenly stood up from the couch. "I refuse to give up! I'm going over there right now and putting my foot down! And I'll have Rin talk to him, too!" He called him, not wasting a second with why he needed to come along despite Rin living quite a ways from them.

They met in front of Makoto's house then went inside, finding that his family was still out. It was eerily quiet in the Tachibana house, and the faint smell of alcohol drifted from upstairs. "Has he been drinking?" Rin asked as he covered his nose.

"Makoto! Where are you? Makoto!" Haruka called. His voice was growing increasingly concerned for him. Sure, Makoto didn't want to see him, but he would've at least acknowledged his existence with some sort of groan or warning to go back home before he really did hurt him. "M-Makoto, please answer us!"

"Oy, Makoto! What the hell—why isn't he answering us?" Rin grumbled.

The two of them went upstairs to check his bedroom to see if he went to sleep, but they didn't have to go far. Oozing out of the bathroom was a pool of red that smelled strongly of iron. The sight of the blood immediately switched something in Haruka's brain, and he dashed towards it. There was Makoto, bleeding profusely from his arm. "M-Makoto! Hang on!" he cried. He picked up his friend in his arms, terrified by his cooling skin and carved arm. "Rin, get me a towel, quick!"

Rin hurried to the kitchen for the dishtowel and gave it to Haruka. "Was he trying to kill himself?!"

"I-I'm going to try and stop the bleeding. You call an ambulance!"

While the Samezuka student hastily made the call, Haruka desperately pushed down on his wrist. He had fallen unconscious from the heavy blood loss.

"Please, stay with me, Makoto!" Haruka begged, hugging his head.

"Ha…ru…" Makoto barely said. The bleeding wasn't stopping, not even a little. Each drop of crimson made Haruka's stomach turn. What if he couldn't save him? The blade was sitting in the painted sink. Could he end his life too and be with him? "He…lp…"

"I'm trying, Mako. Rin, did you get through yet?!"

"I just got it!" Rin replied.

Haruka squeezed Makoto's arm, pleading for it to stop flowing until he thought he felt the bones crack a bit. He almost let go, but for the sake of keeping Makoto alive a little longer, he squeezed even harder. Holding him in his arms, his warmth transferred to him. If he could keep him warm! Makoto's body was slowly being starved of the oxygen needed to function. It was amazing in itself that he wasn't hallucinating yet.

"They're on their way," Rin notified.

"Good. Take his blanket to the couch; I'm going to carry him there."

The order was fulfilled, and Haruka leaned Makoto onto his shoulder. Walking him to the couch proved to be difficult since Makoto was much bigger than he was.

"Okay…bring some water and see if they have any bandages around," Haruka ordered when he laid him down.

Rin didn't respond this time; he just went to work. He brought a glass for him—Haruka immediately tried to make him drink to hydrate him—but he couldn't find any bandages. So the fearful black-haired student continued to hold his wrist. Rin kept an eye out for the ambulance. As he did, he couldn't help but feel jealous of Makoto.

Haruka was genuinely scared for him. He was trying everything he could think of to make sure he would make it. He was holding him for dear life; he was making him drink. He was doing everything…

The ambulance finally came, and Makoto was taken into the back. The sirens blared away as it disappeared into the night. Rin glanced at the frightened and crying Haruka. Why would Makoto do such a thing? Why would he hurt himself? It never occurred to either of them that he felt just as guilty for hitting Haruka and yelling at him as Haruka felt when he cheated twice. Rin wanted to console him, but would that makes things worse on him?

"We can go see him in the morning," he said quietly.

Haruka just sobbed in affirmation.

"Come on…if you keep crying, Makoto won't recognize you! He'll be fine."

"But…But Makoto…what if he…"

"Stop crying, Haru…or I'll start crying, too." The tears rolled down Rin's cheeks at the thought of losing Makoto.

He remembered when Makoto fought to save Haruka from drowning in a river from when they were younger—how Makoto, who was deathly afraid of water, revived the water-filled boy after Rin had pulled him out of the water. Maybe that was what spurred the relationship? Or maybe made Haruka fight to save Makoto? Either way, the memory made Rin feel so alone. He couldn't kiss Haruka or even hug him without making him feel even more guilt about cheating.

That morning, the two of them headed to the hospital hold a small bouquet of get-well Japanese peace lilies. When the nurse showed them to the room, she warned them that he might not be up for talking too much. They nodded and sat next to him.

Makoto's wrists were wrapped in bandages, his body attached to several monitors; it would seem that he was still recovering from the loss of blood. Haruka wormed his hand into his cold ones, which made him open his eyes just slightly.

"Haru…?" he weakly said.

"Makoto…!"

The black-haired student set the flowers aside to embrace him and shower him in kisses. Neither of them had ever seen so much emotion come from him, and the level of concern made Makoto realize something. Haruka…was genuinely scared for him. All the times that he was telling Makoto what had happened were sincere—he now saw that he had been telling the truth.

"Makoto! Makoto! You're alive! They saved you…! You're alive…!" Haruka bawled as he rubbed his forehead on his head. He was shaking with happiness.

"H-Haruka…y-you're…crying…"

"Because I'm happy! I can still swim with you! I can still love you—oh." He recoiled as the inward fear was becoming outward. "You…don't want to be around me anymore."

Rin's ears honed in on their words. Did Makoto really deny his love? As much as it was bad sportsmanship—or lovers-ship—to worry if Haruka was going to be single, he couldn't help but hope that Makoto would let him go.

"Haru!" Makoto suddenly called. His green eyes were bloodshot as he held back his tears. Despite having cable upon cable taped to his chest to monitor his breathing and heart rates, he leaned forward. His arms pulled Haruka to his chest, and he buried his face in his hair. His little captive, though, didn't understand. Didn't Makoto hate him for what he had done? "I'm sorry. If only I had been more forgiving…you wouldn't be like this, and I wouldn't be here! I want to swim with you, Haru—I want to love you forever and be by your side…!"

Rin wanted to throw a tantrum and tell Makoto that Haruka was his now, but the scene taking place in front of him gave him a change of heart. Makoto truly did love Haruka, and Haruka truly loved him. His insertion between them caused so much strife for the both of them. He felt terrible for doing it, yet he was happy that they were together again. Feeling that his presence would only make things awkward between them, however, he left the room.

"R-Rin…!" Makoto called after him.

"Rin!" Haruka called as well. He left Makoto to bring him back after getting a reassuring smile from Makoto. "Rin, come back! Makoto wants to talk to you! Rin!"

"I already know what he's going to say. 'How could you take Haru from me?' I'm doing you two a favor a removing myself from the picture."

Haruka grabbed his arm. "I'm not letting you leave without talking to him. After all, you started this mess…you need to at least take responsibility!" He dragged Rin back to the room holding Makoto. Before he let him go to him, he whispered, "Please…make this all right. He needs to hear your side, too."

He left the two of them alone for a heart-to-heart talk. Rin, ashamed of his actions, reluctantly sat next to Makoto in one of the chairs. "Hello," he said.

"Rin, you don't have to be so scared. I've heard Haru's side twice albeit I wasn't really listening to him until just now," Makoto smiled.

"Are you angry with him?"

"Angry? No. Upset? Yes. I would have never thought that Haru would be capable of cheating or that he would be so shallow as to do it. That doesn't mean this is all his fault. As much as I don't want to say this, you were as much of a temptation as I was."

"Temptation? Me? How?"

"He went into a relationship with you for two reasons—at least the two reasons I came up with: he loves you as much as he loves me, and I wasn't giving him what he wanted while you can. I'm much too shy to do things like that."

"I figured."

"That's beside the point. But you see the problem, yes? Haru, as much as it pains me to say, wants both of us. It would be cruel to him to make him choose…"

"Are you proposing we…?"

"Yes. If we become a threesome, Haru will be happy, and that's how I want him. That said, that doesn't give you the right to hog him to yourself. He's mine, too."

"Ooh, feisty Makoto. Fine, we've got a deal, but how exactly are we going to do this? I mean, do we take turns?"

"I-I don't know…! We can ask Haru—we're doing this for him." Makoto sank into his pillow. "Rin, I want you to know…I'm not really mad. I have more of a reason to be mad at myself. The things I did to Haru—I slapped him and scared him then almost choked him. If we're going to give Haru the power of jurisdiction over our dilemma, I wouldn't be surprised if he chose to go with you. Why would he want to stay with me anyway? When I slit my wrists last night, I had all intention of dying to escape the guilt. This is what I don't understand. Why did Haru save me?"

"Because he loves you, too." Rin didn't want to admit it, but he felt that there was more between those two then between him and Haru. "He got scared that he would lose you, and he probably remembered that you saved him when he almost drowned all those years ago. He doesn't want to lose you."

Makoto's eyes widened.

"He didn't want to leave your side; he wanted to make sure you were okay."

When Makoto was released from the hospital a few days later after recovering from his shock and being cleansed of all the alcohol he had consumed that night, he met with Rin before they went to Haruka's house. It was more of a surprise meeting. Haruka was still asleep, giving them the perfect chance to execute their plan.

They slithered into his bed—Makoto in front of his face and Rin behind him. While the latter put an arm over him, the former cupped his face in his hand and kissed his forehead. The eyes that were likened to pools slowly and gracefully opened, as if their owner were waking up for the first time in years. "Mako…Rin…?" he mumbled into his pillow.

"Haru, what do you want?" Makoto whispered to him. His voice made him want to melt.

"Do you want one of us or both of us?" Rin joined.

Haruka didn't know what to think. Was he dreaming? Could he have both? Would that be okay? "I…I want…both…" he sleepily said.

Makoto and Rin smiled at him. Their lips touched his neck and caught his mouth. They covered him in tender kisses. Haruka alternated between kissing them, and soon he fell back to sleep for the sake of getting a few more winks to compensate for the past few days. He nestled himself between them. Rin exchanged a glance with Makoto, gave him a smile, and rested his head next to his. He went to sleep, too, enjoying the fact that he could be near him without having to risk Haruka's relationship.

Makoto put his hand on his lover's head. He realized he would have to share Haruka for a while until Rin finally gave up, but he was prepared to outlast him. Haruka _was_ his lover first. He moved closer to him and placed his head right at Haruka's forehead. For now, the three of them wanted to bask in the warmth of their reconciliation.


End file.
